We all have to make decisions about old stuff in our closets, cupboards, file cabinets, garages, and sheds. Do you know how to handle your old things? Do we keep them? Discard them? Save to reconsider at a later date? Return them to their rightful owners? In this article, I share some points to consider when deciding how to handle old things (and old ways of doing things) that most benefit us. Let’s Talk.
Old Blue Jeans
I have told the following story several times because it warms my heart. One day, when I was a teenager visiting my friend’s house, I heard yelling from inside her home, which was unusual because her house was always so quiet and inviting, thanks to her lovely family.
But that day, I saw her older brother and mother arguing because she wanted to toss out his old pair of jeans that she was convinced belonged in the nearest trash bin! He pleaded his case with his mother, saying those were his favorite pair of jeans and that he still wanted to wear them.
They Weren’t Fashionable Back In Those Days
To clarify, this was long before raggedy blue jeans became fashionable, and people were willing to pay $300 for a pair. These days, it seems the more raggedy, the better. My friend’s mother would shake her head at this new worn and torn blue jeans phenomenon. I know I do.
The Decision Is Ours To Make
I don’t remember who won that argument, but I remember sitting in my friend’s room laughing my head off. LOL! Even after 45-plus years, I still wonder if my friend’s big brother got to keep his old blue jeans! That day at my friend’s house will always be a fond memory.
But as promised, here are some things to consider when figuring out what to do with all those old things in your life.
1. Some Old Things No Longer Have a Purpose
Unlike my friend’s big brother’s jeans, some of our old stuff no longer serves a purpose in our lives. And some never did. It helps to understand that we have the power and the right to rid ourselves of old things without guilt, anger, or hesitation. But to do that, we have to be honest with ourselves.
When Things Are No Longer Relevant
To be fair, I don’t even need to go Marie Kondo by asking if some old things still “spark joy” for me. I know right off the bat that some things, people, and situations are clearly no longer relevant, meaning they are useless to me. But to honor ourselves, we must decide what value things have in relation to who we are today.
“Old things have passed away and all things have become new.” -The Bible (2 Corinthians 5:17 – part B).
Whether old things have really passed away, or we simply have a different perspective about them; it can be refreshing and liberating to get rid of some stuff for good.
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Are You Buried Alive Under a Load of Old Things?
If you have ever watched the show, Hoarders: Buried Alive, you might get an idea of where I am going. The show features people who struggle to throw away old things.
However when the show’s psychologists dig deeper, they find that tangible things are rarely the core issue. Instead, 99% of the time, it is inner struggles they have been carrying for years. Sadly, many of them never had the awareness or proper life tools to rid themselves of the old traumas that have plagued them.
2. Question How Some Things Got Into Your Life
I have something I have been trying to return to someone for 39 years. But I cannot find the person even after searching on social media for several years. It is a textbook on music theory. And the person is my old piano teacher.
To this day, I remember her words when she put the book into my hands.
She pulled a book off the shelf and told me, “I will loan you this book, but you have to make sure that I get it back because it is important to me.”
She received a degree in music from a prestigious university, and that book had been one of her favorite course books.
We Aren’t Ready For Some Things
When my piano teacher gave me the book, I felt appreciative because I wanted to understand music theory. But the truth is, I never studied the book the way she must have done as a serious student of classical music. I tried, but a lot of it was too advanced for me. I wasn’t trying to play Carnegie Hall. I was only a part-time wanna-be pianist who just wanted to entertain myself at home.
Consequently, and that book still only adds to the clutter in my storage area. It became someone else’s old thing in my home.
3. Know When to Pick Up Old Things Again
One of my all-time favorite singers was Minnie Riperton. And Memory Lane was one of the last songs she recorded before her untimely death. The song opens up with the lyrics, “I stumbled on this photograph. It kinda made me laugh. It took me way back.” She had picked up an old thing from her past but wished she hadn’t.
On the other hand, picking through old photographs of your deceased parents or an art piece one of your parents created can heal your soul.
4. You Should Keep Some Old Things
What about old family values? When my children were little, I established some basic rules. Here are a couple of them.
1). We had a family “meeting” every Friday to allow them to share whatever was in their hearts.
2). Under no circumstances were cell phones allowed at the table during family meals.
I hope that my children will instill those two things into their children.
Keep Those Old “Recipes” For Personal Success
Do you have a favorite recipe from your mother or grandmother? Similarly, any old tips you learned that can help you stay on a path to personal success, you will want to hold on to.
5. Know When To Discard Some Old Things
Have you ever wondered how you picked up some things? It is incredible the amount and kinds of things we have accumulated in our homes that we don’t remember getting. And we only realize it when we have to pack all that stuff up to move.
On another note, they say we need to be mindful of who we hang around. We can allow people to influence us when we are unaware. I once asked a co-worker why she was so mean-spirited towards other co-workers. Her angry reply was, “That is how my father raised me. I don’t have to change for you and nobody else!” I replied, “Okay, if that works for you.” And then I walked away softly.
Old things have passed away and all things have become new. – 2 Corinthians 5:17b; The Bible
Toss Out Old Negative Behaviors
Years later, I saw her at a different job site and immediately noticed how pleasant she was to our co-workers. And all I could think was that she decided to rid herself of the old attitude she had learned from her dad.
I am taking no credit for her changed mindset and behavior. Still, I am convinced that our uncomfortable encounter caused her to think critically about her behavior (possibly for the first time). And she was wise to toss out her old negative behavior. If we aren’t careful, we will take some ugly old ways to the grave. I encourage you to get rid of them.
Letting Go Of Old Behavior Patterns
Don’t Take Your Old Ways To The Grave
6. Sometimes, We Have Outgrown Our Old Selves
Several years ago, an ex of mine said, “You have changed. You are not the same person I met.” While he thought he was condemning me, I received it as a huge compliment. I did not want to be the woman I was fifteen years prior.
On the contrary, why would anyone want to be the same person they were fifteen years ago or even fifteen months ago? I don’t even want to be the person I was last week! I love to grow, learn, and expand my horizons. I don’t like stagnancy. I never did and I never will.
Maintain A Growth Mindset
If we are to nurture a growth mindset, we must rid ourselves of the old ways of doing some things.
Off the top of my head, I can name some key old ways I abandoned. I threw out my habit of making myself small to fit into someone else’s world. I threw out my old practice of helping grown men with their issues. I threw out my old way of putting myself last after I made sure to meet the needs of others. And that is to name only a few old things I threw out that no longer held purpose for me and were even detrimental to my best self.
So the question is, have you grown? Are you willing to discard some stuff for positive personal growth? So that you know, only you can answer that. I am only here to pose the question.
If we are to nurture a growth mindset, we must rid ourselves of the old ways of doing some things.
7. Repurpose Some of Your Old Things
You can repurpose an old pair of blue jeans by making a casual shoulder bag. I did that once with an old pair of blue jeans. You can take an old flower vase in your basement and drill a hole to use it as a vessel for a houseplant.
And remember that old bicycle you no longer ride? Why are you still holding on to it? Why not donate it to someone willing and able to refurbish it for someone else to use it in beneficial ways?
In conclusion, we must consider the things we hoard. Some things are tangible, while others go much deeper because they are emotional, cognitive, or behavioral. But an honest and sometimes brutal inquiry is the only healthy way to handle all those old things in our lives.
I hope this article is helping you to think about some things in new ways. I wish you much love and encouragement!
