“Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues but the parent of all others.” – Marcus Tullius Cicero
I know that when you express gratitude, life will give you even more reasons to be grateful. I have experienced it many times.
As a child, though, the concept of gratitude was presented to us children in a not-so-gracious way. Older people always said we needed to “be thankful” for what we had. And I didn’t particularly appreciate it when they said that because they only used it when reprimanding us.
Although the statement was true, the power of gratitude got lost in how they said it, rendering me less inclined to practice gratitude.
1. Gratitude Is A Powerful Weapon.
I don’t know what the older people knew, but I now know that when we express gratitude, things start shifting in our lives. I wish they had told us those things back then.
Be that as it may, gratitude should never be an afterthought or a reprimand. Instead, it is a powerful weapon in our arsenal against the harsher things of life. The habit of expressing gratitude is like being granted a head start in the race of life. It is a privilege.
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The Science Of Gratitude
There is a lot of science to back up the power of gratitude. Gratitude is the highest emotion of all. In practicing gratitude, I am learning to free myself from stress. That is not to say that I am happy or satisfied with everything. However, despite my dissatisfaction with some things, I can see beyond those things and still feel peace and joy.
How Does The Science Work?
I cannot explain how science works, but I have personally experienced the scientific benefits of expressing gratitude as a way of life.
“Gratitude stimulates the hypothalamus (a key part of the brain that regulates stress) and the ventral tegmental area (part of our “reward circuitry” that produces the sensation of pleasure).” – The New York Times
The Science And The Attitude Of Gratitude
2. Forget Weed
Everybody is fighting over whether or not to legalize Cannabis, but imagine your brain on a gratitude high. I prefer that. However, I also support the legalization of weed for other reasons and don’t understand why they did not legalize it years ago. I have never smoked weed, but I know people who have spent years behind bars for smoking weed. That’s always been crazy to me.
Where are All My Science Teachers?
I am not a scientist by any means, but I have always loved to study science. I would love to talk with all my former science teachers about this. This stuff is AMAZING to me.
I Am Not Surprised
Being a cerebral person, I was fascinated to learn that my brain experiences change as I express gratitude. It is not so much that I am surprised to learn this, but I have never thought about gratitude in this way. I know that expressing gratitude makes me feel good, but it is also wonderful to know the cerebral side.
3. A Special Thank You
I want to use this space to express my deep gratitude for a lovely young man named Jasminder (Jassi), who collaborated with me for six weeks-plus to get this blog designed and launched. He is a very talented web designer who could have done this entire thing in a day. Still, he was willing to work with me in real-time over many Zoom meetings even though there is a big time difference between us, as he is in India.
I Knew Nothing About Web Designing
Going into this project, I knew nothing about web design. But because I had an insatiable desire to learn these technologies, Jassi was willing to teach me. And for that, I will be forever grateful to him and God for using him to assist me with the design of this blog.
Reasons Empty Nesters Can Be Grateful
a. For the years you raised your children
b. For the life lessons parenting taught you
, c. Say thanks for the ways your children made you laugh
d. Doing the best you knew how to do when raising your children
e. Be glad that your children are safe
f. That your children want to learn independence
g. For all the new things you are discovering about yourself now
h. For every communication from your children, no matter how infrequent
i. That your child still loves you.
j. Every day express gratitude for this time of Empty Nesting
4. Gratitude in a Jar
Lately, in addition to my verbal expressions of gratitude, I have taken to writing down things for which I am grateful. During the pandemic, I started a Gratitude Jar. It is nothing fancy, and there is no science to doing it, nor does it have to be. You could do it any way you’d like. If someone wants to buy a fancy jar or even a vase to write gratitude notes, that’s good, too.
You cannot get this wrong. I like to keep things simple, so at the pandemic’s peak, I decided that an empty Kimchi Jar was more than good enough for me!
More Reasons To Be Grateful
You don’t need to assume a particular position to express gratitude unless you want to. You can practice gratitude daily by meditating, standing, or even lying down. Whenever I express gratitude, I get blessed with even more reasons to be grateful.
How To Use Meditation To Express Gratitude
5. It’s Not A Talent Competition
On the other hand, someone else might create a gratitude journal from a 5-subject notebook or purchase a fancy one from a stationery store or hobby shop. You can get as creative as possible, but this is not an art contest. It is you being you on paper.
You can write songs or poems of gratitude. You can sing impromptu lyrics in the shower that express gratitude. How you express gratitude does not matter. The feelings that undergird your words do.
When It’s Hard To Feel Grateful
If you have a tough time feeling grateful in your present situation as an empty nester, think of a time when something extraordinary happened that involved your children. And that could be recalling your birthing experience or when your child reached an important milestone.
Watch Your Emotions
Anytime we attach a negative emotion to something, it does not matter how beautiful the words are; nothing good can come from it. On the contrary, connecting positive emotions (or memories) to your words can be an absolute game-changer.
6. It’s Not The Absence Of Complaining
Okay, let me put it another way. I don’t think of gratitude as the absence of complaining. If a person sticks with a commitment to stop complaining so much or to stop complaining altogether, that is a great start! With that, one should add deliberate expressions of gratitude.
Everyone is familiar with the same cliché’ (which we have all used) when someone asks us how we are doing or if we ask someone else that question. It goes something like this.
“Hey, there. How have you been?”
“Oh, I’m good. I can’t complain. Besides, it won’t help, anyway.”
Saying, Thank You Is Enough
It does not matter if one uses a journal, a jar, letter-writing, or even if they remember to say “Thank you” throughout the day. That is, a “Thank you” directed at a divine entity, whether you call it God, The Universe, a Higher Power, or if you have no name.
A Power Higher Than Us Empty Nesters
If you are reading this, you probably already accept that there is a power higher than you. You can sing “Thank You” off-key while driving or doing the dishes! That is a nod to my tone-deafness. My point is that there is no one way to express your gratitude.
7. Intent Matters
As with many things, intent and authenticity matter, meaning don’t express gratitude while proverbially setting a stopwatch. You can’t time it to see how long it will take for a “miracle” to manifest.
It’s Not A Habit. It’s A Lifestyle
I am encouraging you to make gratitude a consistent part of your lifestyle. To be clear, that is not to say that sometimes, you won’t experience immediate benefits. I think that is up to God (my word for the power higher than myself).
8. It Feels So Darn Good!
Furthermore, when I express gratitude, it feels so darn good to do it! Do it for the feeling of it, if for no other reason. I open my drapes in the mornings and pull up the blinds to glimpse a beautiful dogwood tree directly across from my home. Depending on the season, that tree can be red, white, snow-covered, or green.
It Helps Me See My Options
That alone makes me feel grateful. And if I choose to sleep in one of the bedrooms on the south side of my home, I can wake up to the full sun and a garden view. And that is just one example. How lovely is that?
When we express thankfulness and gratitude throughout the day, we train our brains to wake up feeling grateful; yes, even if we have to go to work!
9. When I Am Feeling Bad
Sometimes, I remind myself to express gratitude when I feel like shit. Physical, emotional, or otherwise. Expressing gratitude is not easy when you know you want to slap the hell out of somebody.
Gratitude Helps To Put Things In Perspective
Thus, that is where the commitment comes in. I can tell you that every time I whispered a quiet “thank you” rather than follow through on slapping someone physically or verbally, eventually, I no longer had the urge to do so. For me, gratitude is powerful in putting all things (and people) in the proper perspective.
10. The Boomerang Effect
I have found that I get blessed with even more reasons to be grateful whenever I express gratitude. You don’t need to assume a particular physical position to express gratitude unless you want to. One can carve out daily time to practice thankfulness through a meditation practice where one sits on the floor with crossed knees.
Do What You Want to Do
As I said, someone else might create a gratitude journal, purchase a fancy one, or start a gratitude jar. You can get as creative with it as you’d like. You can write songs or poems of gratitude. You can sing impromptu lyrics in the shower that express gratitude.
Forget the failures. Keep the lessons. – The Dalai Lama
You can express gratitude throughout your day as you run errands, do your work, ride on the bus or subway, walk down the street, and walk your dog. There are no limitations concerning this, so we should all be grateful.
11. Why Are You Always So Happy?
When working outside the home, I often get asked why I smile so much and how I could keep such a positive attitude even early on Monday morning. Every time, my reply was always the same; “I have a lot to be grateful for. “Then I would add that I loved Mondays because we needed Mondays to get us to Fridays. Plus, I wasn’t trying to wait five days to start enjoying my life.
Complainers Will Complain, Regardless
Most of us have to work, and gratitude still applies even if we don’t work to earn money. People who complain about everything will find reasons to complain whether they have to work. And more people will find something to be grateful for, whether they have to work to earn money.
12. Frustrated, Busted, and Disgusted
I am not saying I don’t have days when I am frustrated, busted, and disgusted. No, of course not. I am human like everyone else, and I feel things like the next guy. But I will go down like fighting despair and dread with the tenacity of a ferocious lion!
Underneath A Rock
You might be thinking that I live under a rock. Well, I do not live under a rock. And that is not a reprimand. I know that there is a lot of shit happening on a global scale that can bring anyone to their knees in tears. However, there is still a lot for which to be grateful.
I Feel Your Pain. Trust Me.
I also know that some of you are experiencing pain that is so horrific that even a wordsmith like me cannot explain it. My heart feels your pain. At the same time, I am encouraging you to try gratitude. Do it even if you can only say, “Thank You” softly while lying in your bed of physical or emotional pain. Just see if it will make a difference in your outlook.
Dark Spaces
I know what it’s like to be in a funk for a while. Trust me, I do. I have been there a few times. But I pulled myself out of those dark spaces whenever I chose to be grateful. Every. Single. Time.
13. The News Makes You Forget To Be Grateful
Furthermore, I was one to have an insatiable desire to watch the News as often as possible. Then it hit me that I always had to deal with depression after watching the News. So, I have to be careful because too much information can piss me off and cause me to forget all the reasons I have to be grateful. As if the anxiety of the pandemic and isolation from my children and close friends wasn’t enough, I used to watch the News almost as if it were entertainment. I had to stop doing that.
I Needed A Mind Reset
I needed to reprogram my mind to a different worldview. While we have to address fundamental issues in the world in which we live, we must also find a healthy balance to protect our psychological wellness. And as with most things, that may mean something different for each of us.
I Don’t Have a Magic Formula
Some of you may be able to watch a lot of News and not get emotionally affected, so I cannot and will not tell anyone to stop watching the News or to stop watching anything. After all, this blog presents only a glimpse of how I interpret stuff. Hence, I don’t pretend to have a formula that would work for everyone.
Finally, above else, I hope you will make gratitude the prevailing attitude in your life. I believe you will be glad you did.
I wish you the best in all things.
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Feel free to comment on this article below. I promise to read every comment and question!
More Resources on Gratitude:
How The Brain Changes With Gratitude
How To Be Grateful Even When Life Sucks
